I said No To J.K.

The McDade Literary Agency Ltd
Anytown

January 1995

Dear Joanne Rowling

Thank you for your recent submission entitled 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'. I'm sorry to say that after careful consideration of your manuscript I do not feel that I am the right person for this book. I admire your storyline and characters, but I'm afraid it does not grab me in the way it should.

I am sorry to disappoint and I hope that other agents and publishers feel differently. I wish you well in your future endeavours.

Sincerely
Gillian McDade


The lesson is that even though I (assuming the role of a literary agent) did not find the first few pages of the now legendary J.K Rowling's manuscript engaging enough (*ducks for cover from Harry Potter fans*), there are others who will. And aren't we glad Christoper Little did? Otherwise we would never have known the phenomenon that is Harry Potter.

We'll go back a few years...Joanne walks into the library in Edinburgh in 1995 and looks up a list of agents. She finds me. Fast forward a few days and the brown envelope goes into the postbox. That's after Joanne has opened the envelope again to make sure she has included the stamped addressed envelope and that she has spelt her own name right.

Picture this: I open Joanne's manuscript, I read the first page, my attention wanes, I sip at a can of Coke, nibble a few crisps, I look out the window and glimpse a man taking his dog for a walk, I glance at Joanne's synopsis. I wonder what the weather will be like. I go with my gut instinct – that she hasn't a hope in hell of this getting published. I don't even stop to consider this. Harry Potter really isn't my thing. Sorry, Jo.

So after Joanne receives her carefully worded rejection letter from me which I've forgotten to sign, she goes back to the library. She leafs through all the agents in the UK and Ireland and she likes the name 'Little.' Sounds like a character that would feature in a children's book. She sends it off to Mr Little and he loves it.

As her literary agent, Christopher Little receives between 10 and 15 per cent of J.K's earnings and a similar percentage of overseas earnings and film rights. J.K is believed to have earned a minimum of £150 million from Harry Potter – so my message is – don't give up, even when you get a pile of ten rejections in one day.

Have no fear. Believe in your work and your ability because that shows through when you submit it. It's also compulsory to enter The World Of Rejection Letters. Any respectable author has holidayed there for a period of time. They're part and parcel of the process and nothing to be ashamed of. You can file those letters away, frame them and make paper aeroplanes out of them, or do as I do and use them as bookmarks for your Writers' And Artists' Yearbook. If you hit the wall, walk around it. Please remember that someone out there will always say no. I said no to J.K.

Someone sent me this photo and it reminded me of Caroline's recent Strictly Writing post. The pie master had obviously gone to great lengths to get this wrong.

http://strictlywriting.blogspot.com/2010/07/invasion-of-killer-yours.html

When To Whip The WIP

So, I decided before going on holiday that on my return, it would be head down for the rest of August to finish the first draft of the current WIP.

The trouble is twenty five thousand words in and recently I've had these other characters, from another book idea totally, demanding to be heard. I put them on the back burner months ago because the voices from the WIP were coming through louder. Now it seems they're being bullied into submission. And I hate it.

I've thought about combining them - somehow introducing these loud beasts - but they just don't belong in the WIP. I've tried to ignore them. And yes, I've thought about dumping the WIP and writing the 'other book idea.'

That's when I started to cry. On a beach in Spain. Sobbing. Weeping. Loud, snotty, unattractive tears. With hubby nearby, who works sixty hours a week, trying to remain patient and calm, when inside he was probably screaming as loud as one of the noisy intruders. He did try and help by suggesting maybe I was reading too much- allowing too many other author's distracting characters into my head space??? Hmmm... Nope. The noise was from my own imagination... All loud and bullish and quite frankly, rude.

My WIP is my third book. And the truth is I'm putting enormous pressure on myself for this to be 'the one.' I know everyone will say to just relax; write what comes naturally, what feels right - but I feel like the girl who's waiting for Mr Right? You know that friend we all have, who was waiting and watching for HIM to turn up and as soon as she allowed herself to be comfortably single - he walked right into her life. I'm still in the nervous watching and waiting period.

I figure I need to allow myself to be comfortably unpublished.

And I need to finish my WIP because it's a story I want to tell and I'm loving the characters. It's called 'Motherlove' and who knows if it will be the one? But writing about it here, fills me with joy and I just know I have to finish it.

Meantime, I have to find a way to silence the noise. Ear plugs? Listen to music? Take a pill? Bribe them? Say, 'Hey guys, look - just wait? I'll get back to you in September as soon as I'm done with these people here. I promise. Okay?'

Ooh, they were quiet as I wrote that. Bribery and pleading might just work?




If not, I'll play them music of the Nickelback kind. That'll teach 'em.






(Thank you to the wonderful Debbie Ridpath Ohi for permission to use one of her 'Inky girl comics'. Do visit her website at Inkygirl.com)

The Times They are a changing...

In a recent edition of the Bookseller, Victoria Barnsley, CEO of HarperCollins, gave an overview of the first half of 2010 in publishing terms. Things, to be frank, had not gone well. Neilsen Bookscan gave the grim stats : total value of booksales had fallen by 5.7%.

Take into account the huge sales from the Twilight series et al, and most authors have had a prettu torrid time of it.

Obviously there has been a recession and folks are buying less of everything. Given a toss up between stuff for the kids' packed lunches and a copy of War and Peace, it's a no-brainer.

Even the most hardened of book buyers among us are taking a long look at our shelves before slipping down to Smiths for the latest offering. I'm sure we're not alone in Casa Black, in that we have enough unread novels to keep us in clover for ten years. Forking out for more is not top of our agenda.

The credit crunch, however, seems not to be the sole cause of the publishing industry's woes. Victoria Barnsley confirms. 'Our business needs to change...To be honest, I don't anticipate the market ever returning to pre-recession levels in its current form.'

One of the ways Ms Barnsley sees HarperColins moving forward is by cutting the number of titles it publishes.

Of course, I know there will be groans all round from those attempting to find a publisher, but still I think that reducing the number of titles published each year is the right way to go.

In the last ten years the larger publishing houses have been churning out an ever increasing number of books. Many have a shelf life of less than three months as the publishers sell in another batch of new releases. Indeed, many books never even make it onto the shelves of the major booksellers. With too many titles and too little space, they wallow and die. The film equivalent of straight to video.

How any publisher can complain about poor sales about a particular book when readers have had no chance to buy it, is beyond me. But complain they do. A mate of mine was dropped after his second book bombed, despite it never coming within a whisper of a high street book shop or having any publicity whatsoever.
For too many books the plan seems to be, publish and hope for the best.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating quotas etc and I'm certainly not saying that good books shouldn't get their chance in the sun because we don't want too much competition.


But I am saying that common sense should prevail.


Publishers need to think long and hard before they choose which books to go with, then get behind them. Each one should be properly edited, then a strategy worked out to give it the best chance of survival. Most writers I know, are only too happy to help with publicity etc.
A book is a huge investment for a publisher and should be treated as such.

Perhaps this comes across as protectionist. I'm a published author and am only too glad to have the market shrink it's true.
Maybe that's true.
But I'd also rather see a robust publishing industry, where authors can eat and pay their rent. Where debut writers have a hope of seeing their third book on the shelves, rather than being consigned to the archives.
I think a thoughtful reduction in titles can only help.

Submissive by Roderic Vincent

They say it's a good idea to keep a log. Here's mine:

Christopher Little was non non-committal.
I believe A&B mostly go for TV.
The Marsh Agency was harsh as can be
and David Higham, to me, look exclusive: don’t try ‘em.
Heard Aitken Alexander is wary of slander
and Rupert Crew takes on very few.
From Susanna Lea, ‘It’s not right for me’ and
a slip by Diane Banks said, ‘Thanks, but no thanks.’

Rogers Coleridge & White thought my plot wasn’t tight
as did Robert Dudley: 'Your synopsis is muddly.'
Plain words Maggie Noach, ‘No unsolicited approach.’
Jonathan Clowes, ‘You’ve got talent it showes;
but I’m afraid in this market, it’s one of our nowes.’
‘Reads like pulling teeth,’ so said AM Heath.
The excuse from Simon Trewin: too full to fit yewin.
The script that I mailed has yet to come back

from the deep laden desk of Mr Scott Pack.
I don’t write for kids so I got zero joy
from the package I posted Elizabeth Roy.
From Theresa Chris, ‘We couldn’t place this.’
This office is small complained Christine Green
I could tell she didn’t want me to think she was mean.
Marianne Gunn O’Connor said my genre’s a gonner.
Those who work at Artellus want only the marvellous.

Got this from Brie Burkeman, ‘It needs too much work, man.’
Capel & Land reject out of hand
but Curtis Brown nose all about town
in search of a deal, as does Ms Elaine Steel
but, like PFD, they both passed on me.
Felicity Bryan at least thanks you for trying,
while Tibor Jones didn’t answer the phones.
AP Watt simply forgot.











Any resemblance of names to actual UK literary agents, agencies or publishers is entirely fortuitous. The above is fictional and in reality I've only sent out about half a dozen subs so far.

Writing Short Stories – There’s No Need To Be Scared! – Guest Post by Nik Perring

To celebrate the halfway-mark of the Strictly Writing Award (see over there on the right for full Rules and Regs), we asked successful short story writer, Nik Perring what his advice would be to any aspiring writers out there who were thinking of turning one in to us, and here's what he had to say:

 
I’ve been writing short stories for a few years now, with reasonable success. I’ve also, over those few years, talked to a lot of people about short stories and it seems to me that a lot of those people are, somehow, scared of them. A bit like poetry. It’s as though there’s a secret you need to get them and an even bigger, magical, one you need to be able to write them. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s not true. Anybody can write and read short stories, and if they want to, they should. Or at least give them a try.

There’s no magic formula I can share with you that’ll make you write great short stories. I wish there was. If there was one it’d save me an awful lot of time. What I can tell you, though, are a few things that work for me.

Writing short stories, really, is no different to writing novels – the same principles apply. The only difference is that short stories are, well, simply shorter. And I think that can be daunting to some people – it really needn’t be.

Here are some thoughts and suggestions that, I hope, will help.

So. Where to begin? If you’d have asked the wonderful Kurt Vonnegut (whose short stories are brilliant), he’d have said ‘As close to the end as possible’. And I’d agree with that because it means we’ll be starting the story at a point where things are getting interesting.

Most importantly, you need to find something or someone interesting to write about. I often find that asking myself ‘What if?’ questions help: What if someone suffered from an illness that meant they couldn’t actually stop moving?; What if someone chose to decorate their walls with Post-it notes? What if the only way a woman could shut up her husband was by taking off her clothes? That kind of thing works for me and allows me to write the story to find out the answer. It could work for you too...

One of the most common worries I’ve found people have when they’re thinking about writing short stories (or not writing them!) is that of word count. ‘But how long is a short story?’ they’ll say. ‘How long should one be?’

And my answer to them. One: Stop Worrying! And two: It’ll be as long as it is.

I honestly never worry about word count. The important thing with any story (and I’d include novels here as they’re stories too) is that, as writers, we should allow them to become what they should be. We tell the story as best we can without giving a second thought to length. The moment we start to pad things out, or cut things, for the sake of the length is the moment when the story will stop working, where it’ll get bent out of shape. And that’s the last thing we want to happen. Don’t forget that once you’ve written a first draft, the parts that need more explanation or that need to go will become apparent and can be fixed – but that should only be for the story’s sake and not so it fits in with any imposed word count.

But, if you want some guide as to what sort of shape (or length) a short story should be, I’d point you in the direction of a collection of fairy tales.

What I also find really useful, and this probably a very obvious one, is reading good contemporary shorts to see what people are doing are how they’re doing it. (I’d recommend reading people like Aimee Bender (I interviewed her about this sort of thing here (http://nikperring.blogspot.com/2010/07/aimee-bender-interview.html) ), Etgar Keret, Sarah Salway, Michael Czyzniejewski, Mary Miller, and Amy Hempel.)

Likewise, read the greats: Carver, Hemingway, Checkhov, Kafka, Vonnegut, Alice Munro, Lorrie Moore, Joyce Carol Oates, and so on. See why they’re greats.

And ENJOY it! Writing’s supposed to be fun. We’re supposed to enjoy it! Sure, edits and making something interesting into something great can be an awful lot of hard work – but that hard work’s much more enjoyable if it’s being done on something we enjoy and find interesting.

Which kinda leads me to my next point, and that’s one about content. A lot of people think that short stories are super-literary and/or overly worthy. Sure, some are. Some are boring. No different to novels. So it’s important that, as with novels, you write the story you want to write. A story doesn’t have to be anything other than good.

So, go on. Try writing one. Enjoy yourselves. You might find you actually quite like it!

Nik Perring is a writer, and occasional teacher of writing, from the north west. His short stories have been published widely in places including SmokeLong Quarterly, 3 :AM and Word Riot. They’ve also been read at events and on radio, printed on fliers and used as part of a high school distance learning course in the US.

Nik’s debut collection of short stories, NOT SO PERFECT is published by Roast Books and is out now. Nik blogs here (http://nikperring.blogspot.com) and his website’s here (www.nperring.com). He also offers short story help here (http://thestorycorrective.com/).

Quickfire Questions with YA author Hilary Freeman

Which writer would you be for a day?

I'd like to be JK Rowling, to see what gaining enormous wealth and fame through writing is really like (as I'm sure it will never happen to me). I'm guessing it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Independent bookshop or Amazon?

Independent bookshop. There aren't enough of them left and they provide a personal service and browsing atmosphere that the web can never hope (and doesn't even try) to match. They care about books and writers. Can I plug my local independent bookshop, the Owl Bookshop in Kentish Town road?

Left on a cliffhanger or told all?

Depends on my mood. I'm the sort of person who googles episode guides to see what happens in future episodes of series not yet broadcast in the UK, and can't help a sneaky peek at the ends of books (I do try to restrain myself). On the other hand, I do like a good cliffhanger - I use them in my books and enjoy reading them. I like being able to use my imagination to figure out what might happen next. Life is a cliffhanger, never neatly wrapped up, so books should be too.

You really must read…

My books? Sorry, I know I can't really say that! Anthony McGowan is a fabulous writer. His books are aimed primarily at teenage boys but they are very well-written, funny and sophisticated.

The children’s book I wish I’d written most is….

The Little Prince. It's my favourite book and appeals as much to the adult me as the child me. It's a universal book in every sense of the word. I even love the illustrations. I also wish I'd written Twilight, so I wouldn't have to worry about paying my mortgage anymore.

I get most excited by…

Seeing the very first copy of my book. After all the hard work, the agonies, the editing, the feeling when you receive it as a proper, published, finished book, with that lovely new book smell, can't be beaten.

I know I have my story when….

It's just there, organically, in my head. It feels like it can't be any other way and that it has always existed.

My biggest tip for a writer is…

Write. Procrastination is your enemy. As is Facebook. If you don't know where to start, don't start at the beginning, start in the middle. Just write a few sentences, whatever springs to mind. Once you have something on paper, a lot of the fear disappears.

An author should never…

Pick their nose? Drop their laptop? Expect to make a proper living?
Forget how fantastic it is to be published, when so many people would love to be?

Favourite desktop snack?

Jelly Belly jelly beans. Pear or cantaloupe flavours.

Favourite work outfit

My dressing gown. I'm ashamed to admit that I don't usually get dressed until the afternoon.

Best thing about my job is…

The flexibility, not having to be in an office from 9-5 with someone else barking orders. And finally being able to be 'me', to express myself in the way I want to.

Email or phone?

Phone. I'm a chatterbox. And I spend all day writing, so would rather talk if I don't have to type.

The hardest part of my job is…

The insecurity and cashflow problems.

If I wasn’t a writer I’d be…

Very miserable.
I'd probably be doing something like counselling. I sometimes wish I'd trained as a doctor (although I wasn't very good at science).




Hilary Freeman is an experienced journalist and agony aunt, working for national newspapers, magazines and websites, as well as on TV and radio. She has been agony aunt for CosmoGirl! and Sky and is currently a relationship adviser for askthesite.org. Her other jobs have included being a leg model and a very bad cleaner. Hilary loves singing karaoke and doodling (her art teacher bought her school exam painting, but she hasn't sold anything since).
Her first novel, Loving Danny, was shortlisted for the Lancashire Children's Book of the Year Award. Her current novel is called Lifted. She lives in Camden Town with her musician husband and the occasional pesky rodent. Find out more about her at: www.hilaryfreeman.com