I’ve realised just lately that I’m missing something, something vital, from my writer’s tool box. I have the laptop, the notebooks, the pencil and red pen; bags of enthusiasm for the craft, ideas galore and a genuine will to succeed. So, what’s missing?
Time...
I metaphorically kicked myself in the butt the other day and told myself to make time. There are 24 hours in the day. So what if my daughter is getting married in five weeks and there is still lots to do (least of all is to finish buying whatever I’m wearing) So what if I’m flitting between home and London trying to be with the hubster when he’s not at work. So what if I seem to be constantly fricking well doing fricking, fricking housework when I fricking well hate it SOOOOOO much and I should be writing. And as for the fact that I seem to be unable to say ‘No’ to people who make demands on whatever time is left , well...
Everyone is busy. We ALL lead busy lives, most of us run a full time job, a household and family and we still manage to find some time for writing.
See, I think I lied...
It’s not more time I need. It’s more selfishness. I need to tell myself that every Tuesday and Wednesday, whoever it is that needs something from me can naff off, and whatever ‘thing’ I have to have done can bloody wait. I’m writing. So there.
Easy peasy.
And today is Wednesday. Anyone want to phone my daughter and tell her that no, I can’t drive into London, pay the congestion charge in doing so and a fricking exhorbitant car parking charge in order to collect her wedding dress and drive it home to ours so that it’s hidden? Yeah, I know – it’s an exceptional task but my problem is that at the moment, they all are...
Or are they? Is there some subtle procrastination going on? I really don’t think so and frankly haven’t got the time today to find out. I’ll never know if I was meant to sit and write the best chapter of my life this morning. I’ll never know if instead, I’d have found some way to subvert the time I’d gifted myself and procrastinated beautifully instead.
All I know is I have to keep trying to find the way forward that works best for me. And I do have to start saying NO. But not today, not to my gorgeous daughter who needs me today. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll write. This I promise myself.
