Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Get Connected.


Last week I was watching Carol Vorderman on Room 101 and found myself nodding away like one of those plastic dogs you see at the back of cars.

I don't know about you but I don't find the current format of Room 101 as entertaining as the old one. Turning it into a game show, with three slebs competing, just seems to dilute it and no one gets enough time to really air their predjudices, which is what I always really liked about it. Soundbite culture gorn mad, I tell you.

But I digress. I was (despite the format) agreeing vigorously with the lovely Carol, when she expressed her complete lack of understanding of the attraction of Facebook. Like her, I just don't get it. I mean I understand how it works (well almost) but not what it's for...

Maybe I'm missing something, but I just don't see the point of it. Your friends already know you right? They know your 'status' cos they were at your bloody wedding and clubbed in for the trouser press! They know you have two kids cos they took the piss out of you when your feet were so swollen in pregnancy you had to wear white plastic flip flops from Debenhams!

What your friends don't need to know, or don't want to know frankly, is that you have just baked a banana cake, or the gas man is coming round at ten, or that you are going to spend the morning ironing. Sharing the minutae of your existence is surely the preserve of the deluded? I for one cannot think anyone is interested in the comings and goings of my days. Often I am bored, so why in God's name would I inflict that on anyone else? When the husband asks what I've been up to I only give him the edited highlights. More than the briefest of comments and he starts to glaze over and check the footie scores on his phone.

Thus it was the heaviest of hearts that I finally succumbed and joined up. To be fair, I had no choice. My agent, my editor and more importantly the lovely Jamie-Lee who is in charge of my PR all told me in no uncertain terms that It Was Time. I have a new book coming out in April and I needed to get connected. To stick to my guns started to feel churlish.

So I'm on. I'm hooked up. I'm part of the matrix.

Actually, now that I am, I have no idea what to do. I feel like someone who arrives at the party far too late and far too sober to join the conversation. I have thus far put two things on 'my wall'. Neither of which were that interesting! At this rate I will be forced to inform the ether that the postman has just delivered a pair of Liverpool curtains for my son.

So. If any of you lot are on FB could you please be my friend (was there ever a sadder request from a woman in her forties?) ? I cannot promise anything but gratitude.

10 comments:

JO said...

I looked for you on FB - but there are several Helen Blacks and I've no idea which is you! And I quite agree - who cares if I've run out of milk, or what I'm watching on the TV. But I do it to notice what other people are doing, find links to some useful blogs or articles, and - very occasionally - to remind people that I've written a book!

(If you want to find me - I'm the Jo Carroll on an elephant - that will make sense when you get there!)

Rin said...

Hi Helen, I'm a new friend of Suzie N-B's, and happy to help ease your journey into Facebook. You can search for me under Rin Simpson (there's only one!). And once you're comfortable on Facebook, we'll get you into the delights of Twitter....!

Helen Black said...

You will both receive a request from me today LOL.

Can I be in your gang...pleeeeaaaase.
HB x

Sandra Davies said...

Like Jo I looked and couldn't be sure that I'd found the right Helen... As a barely active FB-er myself I'll be happy to add to the numbers - but since my name is as common - or do I mean ubiquitous? - you might find me if you also look for 'printmaker' (I don't really know!)

Derek said...

I have to say that I agree with you. I joined FB because a photographer friend said it would be great for my business (it wasn't) and a publisher said it would be a good way to build a reader platform (mainly, it seems, of other authors). The only good thing about it is that I've reconnected with a friend after a five year gap. I mean a real friend. My 'page' (don't get me started) is professionalwriter1 - don't be a stranger!

Sandra Davies said...

Hmm ... just tried to find me using printmaker and it didn't work ... Teesside might do it.
Derek - a friend in the US manages to sell paintings via FB, and one of these days I'll maybe try that ...

Ryshia Kennie said...

I looked for you on FB too but wasn't quite sure. Give me an address and I'll friend you.

Debs Riccio said...

Ha ha Helen, I wondered how come I hadn't seen you 'around' on FB before you Friend Requested me! It's a slightly sad place to be, granted, and some of the 'wall posts' are slightly dull, but sometimes that actually makes me feel less dull myself! See you around! :)

BarJoker said...

Aw Helen I think you have to be a teenager to really 'get' Facebook - they are literally social cripples without it. But actually I like reading about the minutiae of other people's lives (shows how boring my life must be!) so curtain/banana bread/gas man posts fine with me!

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