Putting good words together well

We all want to write well, don’t we?  And by write I mean, of course, make up stories that are readable.  And by readable, not only do I mean ‘make sense’ I mean entertaining, thought-provoking, interesting.  You know the thing.  That’s why you’re here.  Why we’re all here.

That’s what I presume anybody who has their name on any book has done; wanted to do and has proven to the world that they have the capability to do.  They have a book in print.  On shelves.  In my home, in my hand (and destined for the Charity Bin should I see fit). They can write. And if they have a book published I assume they can write well.

The penultimate book I read, I positively ‘devoured’. In fact if I’d been passed the pre-proof copy and asked to pen a suitable one-liner to go on said book, I’d have said something like “bloody brilliant”.  Because it was.  It wasn’t perfect - there isn’t a book I’d ever call perfect - but it was pretty damn near.  And here’s a line that made me want to squeeze it to death in a readerly-writerly hug:

“….. I stand holding recyclable bin bags in the middle of Age UK.  The woman at the counter has grey hair in a bun and glasses round her neck on a string, like a wonderful granny from a Roald Dahl story who’d adopt you if your parents were wiped out in the first chapter in  some blackly comic manner.’

…..

I can’t tell you how delighted I felt when I read this.  And how many times I had to re-read it because of how tickly-with-joy it made me.  I mean, it just evokes such a spontaneous image and reading as a writer, it made me doff a cap and a half to the author. (Mhairi Mcfarlane: ‘You Had Me At Hello’ – bloody brilliant, I might have mentioned).

This book made me want to write and write and write… and that hasn’t happened to me since I read Marion Keyes’ ‘Watermelon’ debut decades ago.

Accessibility and personality leap from every page.  That’s both books.

And so to my next read.  And to a book which has just about as many  thousands of 5 star ratings as the above and I couldn’t wait to get my teeth into it.

But, dear writer, please, read this:

‘To go back to Gail, I must talk to her in person.  A letter just won’t do.  Oh look it started raining.  I hope Eilidh is not out on her bike.  She used to love cycling, we’d been everywhere on our bikes when she lived here.

I just burnt my hand.’

I’ve re-read this just as many times as I re-read the wonderful first example I gave you.  And it still makes me want to scream, tear something up and stamp on it (probably the book because it doesn’t get any better, let me tell you).

‘Oh look it started raining’? *ahem* tense?  Yep, just a tad.

So stunned by its awfulness, I showed people.  To make sure I hadn’t mis-read or misunderstood.  One person handed it back and said “It’s like something I’d have written in year 8 and been embarrassed to admit to.”

Well quite.

And this book (I read right to the bitter BITTER end just to make sure it was as bad as it started out. Guess what?) made me want to write and write and write as well, but for wildly different reasons.  I just couldn’t believe that this sort of thing got past a reader/editor/agent/whatever order they  come in and got published and was still getting SO MANY 5* reviews.   I mean wtf?

It gave me hope.

And it won't be going in the charity bin because whenever I feel like I can’t go on and everything I write is truly awful, I know that all I have to do is pick up this book, turn to ANY page… yes ANY… and it will make me feel better again.

Here, have another piece:

‘When I told Jamie, he didn’t say anything.  He said he had to go, he was meeting his friend John, they were going fishing. He avoided me for the next two weeks.’

Yep, I know.   Set in the land where, when people don’t say anything,  then proceed to SAY SOMETHING. (And even Word’ has green-squiggled the ‘they’ in this sentence.  Argh!).

Celebrate Reading - by Peppa Piddleton

Books can be used for a variety of different things. You can place them in your bookcase in your house to brighten up the shelves, or if you are clever, you might want to read them. A row of books can make your home more appealing and perhaps add value to it - if Kirsty and Phil call round unannounced they will undoubtedly be impressed. If you are having visitors you may want to carefully arrange the books according to the colour of their jackets. For example you may want to place a pink one beside a pastel green one or a blue one beside a black one. If you are feeling more adventurous with your colour co-ordination skills, you may like to place a red book beside an orange book. You may also want to complete the overall appearance of the bookshelf by placing a few scented sachets on it.

More importantly, since you've bought the books with your hard earned cash, you may also want to read them. To do this you simply open the book gently with your hands and scan the words with your eyes and this will create a story in your mind. You can either read quietly or read aloud depending on who is in the vicinity and whether or not they wish to hear your voice. Remember to turn the page once you've finished the previous one.

Books can be read anywhere - in the comforts of your own home or while waiting for the train. You can also sit on the grass in the park with a book enjoying the sun which comes out in the summertime. Don't forget to pack a picnic rug. You can also enjoy reading a book in a coffee shop, but do remember to keep sipping your coffee before it goes cold. Books are fun to read and they come in many shapes and sizes. You can pick whatever size fits your hands best. They can also be found in public libraries which house a great number of books for people to borrow, read and enjoy. Of course, if you borrow a book from a library, you must always remember to bring it back before the agreed date.

If you manage to finish the book you may want to talk about it. To do this you simply invite a group of people round. They can sit on comfortable seats in your living room or lounge. A little tip is to offer them a drink when they arrive as they could be thirsty. The drinks can be served in glasses with ice or alternatively without ice. You may also want to serve some low fat nibbles such as twiglets to accompany the drinks. Once everyone has arrived you can start the discussion. You may want to talk about how pretty the cover is or how useful the book is to use as a base for a candle. You may also want to talk about what's inside the book. You can think about the characters and whether or not they made you laugh or you can decide which of the chapters you like best.

Books are also useful for a last minute present. A good tip is to colour co-ordinate the jacket with the wrapping paper. To wrap the book simply place it on top of the paper and fold up the edges carefully. You will need to have sticky tape and scissors ready. Once you have it wrapped you can tie a fancy bow around it and make it pretty.

I hope you enjoyed my quick guide to books. Whether you use them as ornaments to add value to your home or if you genuinely enjoy reading you can read more handy tips in my book Celebrate Reading.

Love

Peppa Piddleton xx

Fifty Shades of .....fad reading

Welcome to Part Two of my summer reading blog. Following last month's appeal for suggestions for my second holiday read, I would like to extend my thanks to all those who left comments and I'm pleased to report that I've selected The Poisonwood Bible in addition to The Submission. The two books are already tucked into the inside pocket of my red suitcase in preparation for the Family Getaway.

From experience (well, a fleeting straw poll), I reckon about 30 to 40 per cent of people read on holidays. I don't mean flicking through OK or Now magazines on the airplane, I'm referring solely to sitting down and getting through a book. Several years ago when Dan Brown was the Next Big Thing, I remember being on holiday and gazing at a row of people, men and women, lined along one side of the pool, reading The Da Vinci Code. Not one Da Vinci Code - there were multiple copies. There were even several copies, abandoned on sunloungers, sprinkled with sand. I'm curious as to whether the reading group compared views, swapped ideas or discussed the book at length in a beach style book club.

"Hello, I see you're reading The Da Vinci Code. So am I!' says Mavis, thrusting the book in a young male sunbather's face.

She hovers over him, blocking the sun's rays, threatening to spill out of her swimsuit.

'Hi there. Yes, I'm Kevin and I'm on page eighty.'

He removes his Ray Bans and smiles at Mavis.

'What do you think of it so far?' he asks.

'Well to be honest, darling, I'm only on the second page, but it looks like a lot of fun. I normally read a good Mills and Boon on holiday, but this year, I couldn't resist Dan Brown. After all everyone's reading this book."

This year with all the hype over the Fifty Shades series, I'm wondering if I'll be faced with a line of sunburnt sardines stagnating beside the pool or lined along the beach reading the novels. Now I haven't read the books, I have no desire to, and I don't want to know how the stories ends, but all I can see in front of me right now are hundreds and hundreds of book covers, obscuring faces and shielding large bosoms from the sun.

And EL James is laughing all the way to the bank.

Summer's here

Summer's here, or is it? As I write this, I shiver! Where is the sun? Has anyone seen it anywhere? Please, someone, turn on the sun.

I hate to mention the weather during what's been an incredibly soggy June, but holidays are on the horizon - hurrah. I like to plan my holiday reading well in advance, just as others like to sort out which brand of suntan lotion they’ll use or how many bikinis/monokinis they’ll pack.

'Which Katie Price book should I buy at the airport's emergency shop, or which Dan Brown novel will I pluck from the bookcase?' some women will ask their husbands. While many holidaymakers revel in light reading I can be usually found clutching a chunky paperback with an obscure cover. And I don't mean to show off by doing this - I've even offered to back the books in sturdy wallpaper, like we did at primary school all those years ago to protect the covers.

I’ve not had a holiday in four years partly due to the acquisition of a cat who has ruled the roost. And as we can’t go too far with Baby, Tenerife is in the pipeline for the autumn.

Reading is an essential part of my holiday and goes hand in hand with the tropical escapism. The Secret History by Donna Tartt was a huge part of my honeymoon (*embarrassed smiley*) and I spent hours over dinner each night pondering the characters who just leapt from the pages.

I’ve already decided that the Number One read is The Submission by Amy Waldeman, a debut novel which has been hailed as 'remarkable' and 'exceptional'. It follows grief and trauma in the wake of 9/11 and focuses on a design chosen as a memorial to the victims. The Number One Read is the more intriguing of the two books I select and has the edge over the Number Two Read, well for me anyway - that's not to say it's superior.

Sadly I’ve yet to pinpoint my Number Two Read – and that’s where I need your help. My Amazon wishlist is as long as the circumference of the earth (around 25,000 miles for the nerds) and consists of everything from classics to new releases. There’s The Yips by Nicola Barker, but it has a more gritty English setting, or there’s Painter Of Silence by Georgina Harding, but I think it’s a little too depressing to take on holiday, given the Romanian setting. What about The Long Song by Andrea Levy? Too melancholy? Yes, I think so. I haven’t read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, but again it’s not what I deem a holiday read.

My themes are are broad church - I'm fascinated by the American diner and its place in history and in the past I've holidayed with my diner themed novels. I like a bit of intrigue, something off the beaten path, complex characters and a lot of style.

Help me with my holiday read.

What We're Reading/Writing/Watching

Tracey - I am currently watching Game Of Thrones (hooked!) and reading what already looks like my book of the year, Bring Up the Bodies.

Fionnuala - I'm doing a 'Ross and Rachel' i.e. taking a short break - from writing... I'm about to read 'So Much For That' by Lionel Shriver and I'm also hooked on Game of Thrones on the telly.

Debs - Taking a breath from having just finished the second book of "Fifty Shades" series (too much in this heat) and reading "The Girl on the Landing" by Paul Torday of "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen" fame. Watching "Grandma's House""The Voice" and anything with Graham Norton in it - which included the Eurovision Song Contest but we won't dwell on that! Writing wise I'm filling out conveyancing paperwork for imminent house move. Oh, its all go here :)

Caroline R - I'm planning the structure of my new non-fiction book, thinking about what I can include from my existing work and how much new material I'll need. This is a bit of a departure for me as I'm normally a pantser, but I'll have to make myself get organised for this one! I'm about to start reading Before I Go To Sleep by S. J. Watson, and I'm watching The Voice.

Caroline G - I am just about to start writing a new project, having abandoned the last one I was writing. This book is contracted by my publisher and am a bit nervous about getting it right. The one I finished over the winter and early spring didn't work at all! Has had to be binned. (Ouch) As for reading, I've just started Julia Crouch's second book, called Every Vow You Break. Loved her debut novel, Cuckoo. Watching? Bored, bored, bored with TV. Need a good box set.

Gillian - I've set sail on my next book, provisionally called Arktanic - yes that's right - a fusion of Noah's Ark and the Titanic. I'm reading A Parachute In The Lime Tree by Annemarie Neary and watching Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve, as he's a friend of a friend!

Derek is: 1. Writing job applications. 2. Rewriting an old novel, plus an edit, to have a go at self-pubbing through Lightning Source (having received author contribution requests of £1300 and £5000, in the last couple of months, from conventional publishers!). 3. Collating stories. 4. Writing plans. (Yes, that's writing writing plans!) 5. Reading The Little Book of the Great Enchantment by Steve Blamires.

Titanic - when tragedy is brought to book

Yesterday (April 15) was the one hundredth anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, and there have been many commemorative events held at home and abroad in memory of those who lost their lives. I was born in Belfast and my grandfather, great uncle and father all worked in Harland and Wolff, proud builder of the White Star trio. There has been a buzz in the air, thanks to the opening of the new Titanic Visitor Centre in the regenerated docks area which I'm visiting today, not to mention the many television documentaries and dramas which have been aired in honour of the majestic ship. An ambtious docu-drama even tried to recreate the sinking, step by step. It's hard not to get emotionally attached to the event, as I have, and I wonder how the passengers would have felt knowing they were nearing death. Why did the band play on, continuing their rendition of 'Nearer My God To Thee?

This prompted me to think about whether or not a book can truly capture the enormity of such a tragedy. Many tragedies have been written about in both fact and fiction, from Columbine to September 11 to conflicts. In my soon-to-be-published book I deal with a tragedy, very loosely based on an actual event, but I often wonder whether rows of words on white pages can really show how horrific the incident was to witness first-hand. I try to re-create eye-witness accounts and wonder if my work really does it justice.

En route to New York on her maiden voyage in 1912, the Titanic hit an iceberg which began the sinking process, leading to the loss of over 1,500 lives. What was the immediate reaction upon learning this? I imagine utter panic would have swept through the ship, each person reacting in a different way. I imagine some would have screamed, some would have remained silent, others would have prayed and told their loved ones they will meet again. How terrifying must it have been, sinking into waters so cold in the middle of a vast ocean?



A book by Morgan Robertson dubbed a ‘prophecy’ was published in 1898. The novel, Futility or The Wreck Of The Titan, about the sinking of a supposedly unsinkable ship, contains many similarities to the sinking of the Titanic. The first half of Futility introduces the protagonist, John Rowland, a disgraced former Royal Navy lieutenant, who becomes an alcoholic. Dismissed from the Navy, he works as a deckhand on the Titan which hits an iceberg on its travels. The ship starts to sink but he manages to saves the young daughter of a former lover by jumping onto the iceberg with her.

Furthermore as a journalist and one who has witnessed many tragic events over the years, I wonder if even newspaper reports can convey the enormity of tragedy and help readers understand the event. Is the newspaper article simple a summing up account of the event, or do readers feel empathy with the victims when they read the reports? Can words really do tragedy justice?

Pic taken: Belfast, April 2010

Forever Free

“Once you learn to read, you will be forever free.”
Frederick Douglass

So today is International Children’s Book Day.

Ten or more years ago, and in a former life, I made educational programmes – many of them focussing on literacy – for young children. I loved writing scripts and songs and stories, and working with marvellous animators to bring picture books to life. Whilst making ‘Rat-a-tat-tat’, I immersed myself in everything from Julia Donaldson’s The Gruffalo to Jill Murphy’s books and to Quentin Blake’s illustrations. We took the books out into the real world and picked up the themes of the stories. They say, never work with children or animals – but we worked with them all: we visited zoos (filming with meerkats, lemurs and a large snake), otter sanctuaries, cat rescue homes; we filmed dog clubs (don’t! – it’s utter chaos, especially when attempting to get them to bark on cue) and on one memorable and very stressful day we filmed Aiden, our daredevil presenter, attempting to ride a surfboard and sing amongst the waves at Newquay for the story of Mrs. Armitage and the Big Wave, whilst a crew member swam underwater holding a large shark’s fin. Aiden, the best kind of presenter – funny, amenable and up for everything - climbed trees, went up in hot air balloons, shovelled coal in steam trains and dressed as a pantomime dame. And we worked with lots of wonderful teachers and enthusiastic children. It all seems very long ago and far away now. And Groucho Marx would probably disagree that television is any kind of substitute for the act of reading itself:

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

I know a primary school teacher – an excellent teacher – who does her very best to bring the children wonderful and positive experiences through their lessons. But I also hear how she struggles to find the time, amidst the statistics and the SATS tests, to do so. And I wonder (not having any children of my own) whether that joy in reading which I was lucky enough to have as a child is still as prevalent amongst children today? Or is reading another chore, another task to master, another tick or cross against their name?

For most of us who have ended up as writers, reading was a magical experience, a portal which took us into exciting worlds where anything was possible. As a child, my tastes were eclectic: I read my way voraciously through The Brothers Grimm, Aesop’s Fables, Enid Blyton (from The Faraway Tree and The Famous Five to Mallory Towers), the Susan books by Jane Shaw (because the heroine had my name, and because they were very funny – I still have them and re-read them). I read Robinson Crusoe and The Swiss Family Robinson and Heidi, the Swallows and Amazons books and, best of all, the Narnia series. And many more in between. Books were my friends and my secret world. Indeed, I’ve even called one of my main characters – who writes fairy tales - Jo (after Jo in Little Women.)

Do children today have time to dream? Because that’s what books offered me. Time to roll around, metaphorically, in different worlds: to pause and meander and wander amongst new ideas and to meet people who were like no-one I knew. Time to wonder ‘what if?’ Time to try out other lives. Children today seem to have their time parcelled tightly into neat packages, each with attainment targets and checklists. And their ‘fun’ seems to consist of fast-paced TV programmes and video games. I probably sound like an old wotsit, but I think kids are the losers now. They are losing the joy of slowing down to the pace of words. Losing the ability to dream. Perhaps we all are. Which is very sad.

So let’s take a moment today to go back: back to the days when we were young and books were magical. Which were your favourites, then? And what do you read with your children now? What would be your ‘Inheritance’ books? Which would you take on your Desert Island?

“When we read a story, we inhabit it. The covers of the book are like a roof and four walls. What is to happen next will take place within the four walls of the story. And this is possible because the story's voice makes everything its own.”
John Berger

Celebrating World Book Day

Today (Thursday) it's World Book Day when children of all ages celebrate authors and books by dressing up as their favourite characters while developing their interest in reading. This is the 15th year of World Book Day and it has brought pleasure to many children who otherwise may not have had access to a wide range of reading material.

To mark today in a different manner, I thought I would talk briefly about the appeal of international literature and how it has gained a stronghold in the UK. You'll probably recall one of the most popular and talked-about reads, A Thousand Splendid Suns, the 2007 novel by Afghan-American author Khaled Hosseini which follows two women whose lives are intertwined. It swiftly gained a following in the UK and was a firm favourite with book clubs. Another of my favourite books which has received interntional acclaim is by JM Coetzee. The Booker Prize winning Disgrace is a touching, yet utterly bleak story of animal and human misery in post-Apartheid South Africa, its central character, the sex-obsessed David Lury, an academic whose daughter is gang-raped. A powerful book and a deserved winner of the Booker Prize.

We're British and the British like their British holidays, their British food and their British music - cue The Beatles. But, I don't think I'm alone in saying I like to take a journey into overseas lit as I enjoy savouring the flavour of the country and seeing incidents through other people's eyes, those immersed in a culture very different to our own. I like to soak up the atmosphere, visualise the scenery, taste their food (vegetarian dishes only!) and smell the surroundings.

A book I particularly enjoyed and which ticked those boxes was The Tenderness of Wolves by Stef Penney. Despite being a British writer and having never visited Canada, she managed to evoke the time and place so fittingly for this book. The frozen plains of northern Canada were so authentic that readers there thought she'd accessed 1867 via a time machine.

For World Book Day I made a pledge to add ten more 'international' books to my Amazon list. So far I've added A Thousand Years Of Solitude, The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter, The Long Song and The Saffron Kitchen. I know The Long Song is a popular book and it so far has escaped my reading clutches.

As a final thought for World Book Day, I often wonder what other people are reading around the world - I'm sure they won't be sitting down savouring Bleak House or Wuthering Heights. Are books just as widely read in Hong Kong, Australia, South America, Romania, Russia and even China, a country of emerging literature?

What are you doing for World Book Day? Are you dressing up as Harry Potter? Tell me.

Kerry Wilkinson, bestselling e-author answers some Quick Fire Questions

Kerry Wilkinson, sports journalist and self-published crime writer has become the most popular author in the Kindle charts after selling more than 250,000 e-books in six months.

 
He told futurebook (http://futurebook.net/content/reader-first-approach-writing-and-self-publishing): “Ultimately, I'm a kid from a council estate in Somerset. I grew up reading those thin Doctor Who paperbacks which were almost entirely written by Terrance Dicks. I love books, I collect them.
There is no way I should be able to compete with a massive major publisher - let alone beat them. How have I done it? I'm not sure I really know. I can only ever continue to act on instinct. After all, I'm a reader first.”

We were thrilled when Kerry said he had time in his manic schedule to answer a few Quick Fire Questions on Strictly Writing.

1. Who is you favourite Doctor from Doctor Who and why?
- I always like whoever the current guy is so, at the moment, Matt Smith.

2. Where do you write?
- Pretty much everywhere. Sometimes, if I'm on a day off, I'll use my netbook in bed and write through the morning. I mainly write on the sofa at home, but I also write on my lunchbreak at work, I've written on trains and on planes, everywhere really.

3. Best writing snack?
- I don't think anyone can function creatively without biscuits (cookies for our American chums). I have, in the past, nicked out the supermarket before settling down to work because the house has been devoid of sugar-based snacks. I'm also a fan of a good old fashioned biscuit tin. There's something endearingly British about all that crumbly crap you end up with at the bottom.

4. Soundtrack (if so, what) or peace and quiet?
- I pretty much need the house to be silent but I'm also a walking hypocrite because I can write on a train, etc, where it isn't quiet at all. The ideal soundtrack is the noise of the ice cream man pulling up outside our house. I always move quickest when I'm trying to find my shoes and some money to get out the door before he pulls away. Then I can settle back on to the sofa with a bonus ice cream to aid my creative process.

5. Which book/writer has/had any major influence on you?
- I don't know really. I don't particularly follow individuals. I read more comics and sci-fi stuff than I do prose fiction. Through that, you could say Ed Brubaker or Brian Bendis but I've read some really great stuff. People are missing out big-time if they don't think comics can tell good stories. Things like Y: The Last Man, Ex Machina, The Walking Dead, Preacher, Supreme Power, Blankets and many many others. Comics teach you about plotting too because they rely on finishing on a belting cilffhanger every 20-odd pages. If they don't do that, people don't buy the next issue, which means the writer has to stop telling his story.

6. What are you reading right now?
- Chris Jericho's first autobiography. It is very funny and very good. I just finished the Alan Partridge autobiography for the third time. It's the funniest book I've ever read. I think I could read it over and over and not get bored.

7. Has (and how) ‘overnight success’ affected your ordinary daily life?
- Basically, not at all. I'm still the same person I was a year ago. I just now have better excuses for not tidying up around the house. "I've been writing all day" garners more sympathy than "I've been on the PlayStation all day".

8. Laptop or paper?
- What's this paper you speak of?

9. Where do the ideas come from?
- The broad ideas usually come from small stories which you might stumble across in a newspaper or on the radio news or something like that. Sometimes it will just be one line that will sets your imagination off. The whole of book two, Vigilante, was born out of a throwaway line at the bottom of a much wider newspaper feature. The funny thing was, someone left a review saying that certain part of the book was "unrealistic" when it was the only part based on fact! I think people are very quick to call things "unrealistic" because real life will always be stranger at some point. Think of things like the David Kelly saga, or the Stockport saline story. That's far "better" in a story sense than most things you could make up.

A lot of the character stuff comes from incidents I've seen over the years or people I've met, although not necesarily directly. Again, sometimes you might see the startings of an event in real life, then you reimagine them with your characters.

11.The best advice you could give to an aspiring writer?
- Not even a writer, just anyone who wants to do something creative: Do it because you want to. I never feel pressured to write. I only keep going because I have something left to say and pads of unused ideas. It's why I never have writer's block. I've never once sat around wondering what happens next.

12. What would you have liked Q.10 to have been?
- I prefer to think of question 10 as like those 11 days in 1752 when Britain jumped from 2 September to 14 September because the country switched to the Gregorian calendar.

Kerry's website/blog is here: Kerry Wilkinson.com  and you can read the openings of Kerry's first three books,  'Locked In', 'Vigilante', and 'The Woman in Black' on Amazon.  Look out for the fourth and fifth books in the Jessica Daniels' series, 'Think of the Children' and 'Playing with Fire' which will be out later this year.

Confessions of a hoarder

Hoarding books is a hobby of mine. I have books from the 70s, 80s and 90s, spine-creased, worn, torn and tattered but still loved. No matter how hard I try to let go of them, just like redundant boyfriends, I simply can’t part with them. I have my Enid Blyton collection neatly packed away just in case I want to read ‘Five Go To Smuggler’s Top’, the Mallory Towers set to fondly remind me of my school years, and The Secret Seven, in case I feel like indulging in a little detective work. And there’s the Nancy Drew collection, in case I suddenly aspire to be like Nancy and want a few tips from her on becoming a heroine. And the crème de la crème is my Anne of Green Gables box set which was purchased in America – my pride and joy.

It’s not just my own books I hoard. On one or two occasions, I’ve borrowed books from friends only to conveniently ‘forget’ to give them back. I innocently add them to my collection. On several occasions, the friend has simply not pursued the case of the missing book. Others have said: ‘Just keep it, Gillian. Don’t worry, I’ve read it.’ Now I don’t know whether they were just being polite or not, but I always took this at face value. Samuel Beckett’s More Pricks Than Kicks springs to mind as a borrowed book. I’m don’t think a kleptomanic, honestly. Or am I? No, I always ask before borrowing.

However, I’m the person who, when staying in a hotel, will trawl the room to see what I can get away with ‘borrowing’ – from the robe to the nice shower gel. In cheap hotels, they appear to fasten the large shampoo bottle to the bathroom wall, and guests have to make do with a few pump action shots! How unfair. I prefer the establishments which let you ‘borrow’ the Molton Brown bottles, soaps and shower caps. Confession – I still have the sewing kit from a hotel in Mauritius. Have I ever stolen books from hotels? No. Not even from a hotel in Prague which boasted a rather robust library in which one could browse freely.

But I do love to hoard and often refuse to share just in case the friend genuinely forgets to give me it back. That would hurt me a lot. It would be like losing a child. If someone asks me if they can borrow one of my books, I’ll politely forget once. If they ask a second time, I’ll hand it over, but closely monitor the situation until it’s handed back. What’s the most appropriate time frame to expect a book to be returned – one week, two weeks, or for the slow reader, two months? I have a huge collection but please don’t ask to borrow any of my books as your request may well fall on deaf ears.

It's All In The Mind

The method by which one person reads a book and stores the information will differ from that of another. The human brain as I mentioned in a previous post is a complex organ and in terms of reading, it's the bookcase of the body. I have already blogged about this 'storage facility' and its ability to retain the numerous plots and finer details of the many hundreds of books we read.

But what happens when we read one book? Take, for example, a paragraph in my current WIP:

'Mind them cars. Charlie, get off the road, or you'll get knocked down.'
Da had just lifted his wallet out, when there was an almighty flash. I didn't really hear any noise, but within a second, I was lying on the ground, blood dripping from my mouth. A cloud of dust swallowed me up and I heard people, all these women, screaming like mad. I shouted for Da. I tried to crawl out of the dust, but I couldn't see past the grey wall. I didn't know where I was or what was happening. I couldn't feel my legs. The power had left them. I heard a lady shout 'Jesus Christ, help us', then someone else screamed.

What we have here is a scene which relies on visuals. There's a lot going on. When you read through this, do you store the information as a sequence of facts, or do you play out the material in your head, as if you were watching a film?

Storing the information as a mere sequence of facts without visualising would be as follows:
1. Charlie on the road.
2. Dad takes wallet out.
3. Bomb goes off.
4. Charlie on ground injured
5. Pandemonium.
6. Woman yells.

If you choose to read this while visualising the action, the brain will create the whole setting, as long as the author has been explicit enough in the information given to the reader. And it gives a more colourful picture:

Charlie is playing on the road and there are a few cars passing by. Then his dad lifts his wallet out, possibly to go into the bank, or a shop, and there is a flash. Suddenly normal, everyday life becomes chaotic. Charlie is blown to the ground following the bomb blast. He is panicking, and the reader sees the blood dripping from his mouth. The reader will also add the dust to the scene, and he or she may 'take on' the role of Charlie, imagining the chaos dissolving into the background, the image fading. The reader in the role of Charlie may feel 'desperate' to escape this bombing aftermath, given that Charlie is on the ground, trapped by his lack of mobility.

I think it's hard not to 'visualise' what's happening as you read. I put both these methods to the test by reading a chapter of a recent book, firstly making a mental note of everything that occurred, secondly, letting the action unfold visually. The first method is cumbersome and makes reading feel like a chore, not a pleasure.

I'm interested in hearing your methods of reading and storing a book. Do you simply play out the events in pictorial form as I believe most people do, following the characters around, or do you simply remember the information as a series of facts?

Book Orphans

I have piles…

…actually only one but that got your attention, right? It’s a pile of ‘abandoned’ books that I have teetering by my bedside. In fact the orphans by now far outweigh the ‘To-Read’s. Which is a bit sad.
It’s difficult to know what to do with them. Although in the past I have been known to chuck them across the room straight into the bin. I daredn’t name names. With all these networking sites I can’t take that risk. Suffice is to say it ‘twee-ed’ me to death and I couldn’t bear it any longer. I actually felt insulted. But it would probably have delighted the next person. If Twee be their cuppa tea.
I do, however, have a small list of things that really get my goat. *clears throat*:

A Contents list. And by this I mean a list at the beginning of the book with chapter number followed by chapter title. Because a lot can be learnt from the title of a chapter. And if this is at the front of the book, then it’s going to be read before, say, Chapter One is even reached. I picked up one such book recently and by the time I’d read the titles in the contents list, I felt I’d already read the whole book. And after I’d read the first few actual pages, I was waiting for the *Chapter 1 heading* to happen. Which it did. Followed by the *Chapter 2 heading* that was about to happen. OMG. It felt so pointless. So annoying.

Mixing up the tenses/typos And, while we’re at it – isn’t this what a copy editor/proof reader is paid to iron out before it gets as far as our hands anyway? Once or twice I can kind of forgive, but every other page? No thanks. Unless the book comes with a packet of Panadol and/or a bar of Galaxy.

An MC who either works as a Florist (and there’s a LOT of those lately) an Advertising Exec, or anywhere Big in Media – or all three at the same time. Please, for crikey sake can’t we have some ordinary people who work at the Town Hall, Tesco or in the local Chippy?

A Preface. The more obscure, the heavier it sits on my mind as I try and read the rest of the story. What did it mean? Is *this* the person/situation it was alluding to? Am I missing something? Why was I given this information to begin with? I don’t know what to do with it – where does it fit? Should I skip to the end to make sure I’ve understood it properly or should I just open the nearest bottle of wine?

Too many characters. I can cope with two main and two secondary. And I’ll let those also have minor acquaintances but character overload equals brain malfunction. I want to feel close to my main characters; please don’t dilute. I once read a book that had 16 main characters. Never again. There aren’t enough highlighter pens in a set to keep up. Same with maps of the fictional area. What’s all that about?

Designer-names. If I find another MC who has a fabulous Louis Vuitton bag/scarf or hankers after some Jimmy Choos, then she’s joining that Twee book on the next flight into the WPB. What’s wrong with having a bag you got in the Matalan sale anyway? What are you implying? Aren’t I good enough for you?

Too many commas in one, sometimes five line, sentence. Please… I know the comma-splice ‘rule’ but let’s be realistic about it, okay - I thought reading was supposed to be an enjoyable experience? I don’t want to have to track back half a page to find out how the sentence began. This is not the reason I bought you.

Babies/toddlers: who get in the way. Perfectly ok if they’re the main reason FOR the story but if there’s action and/or conversation going on – please – give the child a dummy or ten quid to get out of a scene or two. References to them are fine but an interjection by them… no thanks. They’re just an annoying distraction and I have enough of those in my life already, thanks.

p.s. I got SO annoyed once, right at the end of one of  Tony Parson's books when his characters were dancing to Britney Spears' "Do that to me one more time" that I spent an eternity tracking him down to point out the error of his ways... I don't know if he ever read the e-mail  but I've never bought another of his books... so that'll teach him, won't it?!

Pet Peeves anybody?

It's all good

It's good to read, just like it's good to talk (according to BT).


Of course it's good to read, I hear you say. If your nose never graces a book, then realistically what hopes do you have of ever becoming an author?
Granted, you may have been a great speller at primary school and top in the creative writing competitions, but if you don’t read much, let alone stop to analyse a book, then halt your writing dreams now I say.

And this brings me onto what I deem a very valid question - what makes a good book? It’s a question which has been asked many times and one which has generated all manner of interesting replies.
Is is a good story? Interesting characters - ones which the reader can relate to? Or is a good book one which, when you take it to bed, simply allows you to escape the last few hours of a mundane Monday thanks to its engaging plot and intriguing storyline?

Is a good book one in which the plot really grabs our attention? When we think we know 'who dunnit' then the author hits us with a cruel twist, and we're left reeling over the events of the last ten pages? I don't know - what is a good book? Do you know what a good book is? Come on, give me some answers...
Well for me, it's good writing with a page-turning plot - it's as simple as that. Good solid writing with the use of language in a colourful manner. But every once in a while a book comes along and I scratch my head, wondering where its merits lie. I toss and turn at night wondering how the author ever managed to grab the attention of an agent, especially with the opening chapters. There has been one in particular which produced a rather large advance for the novelist and many readers, me included, were convinced our bottom drawer unpublished efforts had more merit. In other words, it needed a darn good edit. Once in a while when a book such as this crops up on our shelves, I wonder why this so-called 'great book' has been labelled by critics as such.
A 'good book' to the average Joe Public reader is usually a personal preference. But if you are a reasonably experienced writer who knows the ins and outs of the business, you tend to look for more than the basis of a solid enjoyable story.

When I read a book, I focus on originality, in characters, story and language. One book which literally blew me away in terms of originality was Darkmans by Nicola Barker - one which now takes its place on my list of all-time favourites.
(If you ask a child what he or she wants from a book, the young reader will almost always say 'I want to laugh' or 'I want funny and sad bits together')

There are books too which have been hailed by critics as the best thing since Shakespeare and sliced bread, and I've struggled to find any admirable qualities. I don't want to condemn certain books as poor quality, but I've just finished Netherland by Joseph O'Neill and I'm still waiting for something to happen. It was like a rambling stream of consciousness with no pace or structure and the reader was constantly being pulled this way and that. I want a book that makes me anxiously turn each page and in Netherland, I was patiently waiting for that. I didn't feel anything happened. More happens in my Bottom Drawer novel in a more erratic fashion.
It’s not the first novel I’ve been disappointed in - there have been a few. A good book will be filled with the author’s passion - and that will be evident in a reading. So whether it be an agent, or an independent publisher, make sure you have a good book lined up too when the time comes.

Have a flick through How NOT to Write a Novel by Sandra Newman and Howard Mittelmark. I must admit I haven't read it but, according to the critics, it has a plethora of info which will help us avoid the pitfalls of sabotaging our own work....including the over-use of the exclamation mark!! That's my pet hate!!!! So, go on, make your book a good one!!!!!!

Entry into bloggersphere

I feel under pressure to perform right now as this is my first official blog. Like a debutante's entry into society, this 'coming out' is just as nerve-wracking. But I'm delighted to be here and I'm grateful to you for stopping by to read and of course for any comments you may have.

Let me first of all tell you a bit about myself. I'm Gillian, and for the last ten and a half years I've been working as a newspaper journalist. The most exciting person I've interviewed so far is Uri Geller. Whilst chatting to him, my yoghurt spoon bent. I've also stood beside the Queen (royal, not Freddie) and Hillary Clinton (at separate events) and I've had my picture taken with Adele from Big Brother 3. I've been on the box a few times too and I've produced a short documentary on a pet cemetery which made the Daily Mirror telly critic cry. The most daring thing I've done in my writing career so far is dispose of a used cocktail stick inside an antique vase in the drawing room of the Secretary of State's residence Hillsborough Castle (there was no bin, and I'd no pockets).

At this point, you're probably wondering why I have used an astronomical word in the title (bloggersphere) - well this is due to the fact I received a telescope for Christmas from Santa and have been communing with the moon nightly (I also got a Wii – honestly, I am cool).

For the last three or four years I've been working on my entry into the world of novel writing (note again the astronomical pun). I've just finished novel two, entitled The Standing Man and I'm currently in the process of editing, revising and tweaking.
My first novel A River To Cross, set in North Korea, was completed in the middle of last year and I've since managed to notch up a few rejections, coupled with heartening comments from agents telling me to persevere and not give up on this one. It's still very much alive and well in a little yellow folder on my hard drive. I should tell you that my initial attempt grew wings and went to Novel Heaven in the sky but may be reincarnated some day. I've just embarked on my third novel called Cake, set in a fictional Irish village in which a Women's Institute member goes on a murdering spree after losing a Victoria Sponge competition.

All this of course has been a learning curve. When I started out, I thought my work was the best thing since sliced bread. And when I posted my first submission, I sat beside the phone eagerly awaiting the call from Ed Victor (big scary agent). How wrong I was! Much of the earlier ramblings were utter dross and deserved nothing more than to be consigned to the bottom drawer. Fit for nothing but the bin. But if we are honest, that's how we all start out. There's so much more to a book than a story, as I've found over the years. The novelist Kingsley Amis once said 'The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of one's trousers to the seat of one's chair.'

Most of all a novel is fun to write. Don't do it for the money - what money, some say? A novel is like a cupboard – you open it up, there are different compartments like characterisation, plot, description, and of course, the writer's main faux pax – telling rather than showing. And I suppose a book for the customer is like a bag of Revels – you open it up and you don't know what you're going to get - hopefully a nice surprise.
Then there's the opening sentence - just how important that is, I cannot stress. That's the crucial bit that allows you to form an immediate opinion about the book. And if the opener is not engaging, there's the danger of the reader losing interest.

The fact I have a background in journalism means nothing. I thought it did - and I was wrong. Yes, of course it sounds good in the letter which accompanies the submission, but it does not make me a better author than the person next to me. If anything it can be detrimental - there's the rush to finish a news article and the urge to pack in as much information, in as little words as possible. And that's not how to write a novel.

But remember - a good writer never gives up.

Well that's all for now folks: if I continue on, I'll be heading off on a tangent into the stratosphere....Wishing you all a happy new writing year and may all your dreams come true in 2009.

I'm currently reading Netherland by Joseph O'Neill.