The Lifelong Ladder

I started writing ‘seriously’ just over three years ago. At the time, I had one ‘child’ already flown the nest and another leaving school, heading to university. A new phase of my life was beginning and, wallowing in blissful ignorance, I knew which path I wanted to take - I wanted to write. I wanted to write novels. Lots of them. To be published. To have people read and love my words. To tell stories...I thought I knew what that entailed. Take out your laptop and er...write. I knew it couldn’t be quite that simple, but also naively wondered how hard could it be? I had absolutely no idea how steep (forget steep – try precipitous) the learning curve would be. How many twisted rungs the road to publication ladder would have? Hell, I thought ‘show and tell’ meant one of the girls taking their favourite cuddly toy into school with them.

Well, it was. That was show and tell. It wasn’t, Show, don’t tell. My first lesson in what a difference a word makes. And it heralded the beginning of my apprenticeship. It both showed me and told me how little I knew and hinted at how much there may be yet to learn. Three years on, several half hearted attempts at writing short stories and two full hearted attempts at novel writing - the muddied waters are not much clearer!

So, I ask myself how long this internship lasts? I mean, if I wanted to become a plumber, I’d have a set period of learning, both from more experienced mentors teaching me and from studying for set exams - which I’d be expected to pass before being allowed to fit a boiler on my own. The reality is, though my writing apprenticeship has many similarities, I can see no real end in sight. The internet has allowed me to surround myself with like-minded people at various stages within their careers, all of whom are generous with their teachings and experiences. There are countless numbers of self help books from which other writing skills have been and still can be learned. I could do a Creative Writing diploma or degree if I so chose. But I’ve decided to go it alone. And being in any learning environment, being able to continue confidently on a learning curve does require feedback. A plumber needs a pat on the back from his mentor and he needs to pass his exams in succession before being let loose on that boiler. As a writer, I’m no different. I need different forms of positive feedback en route. Early on, I needed gentle encouragement. ‘Hey this is good!’ from a fellow writer more than sufficed. Later, I needed more. ‘Tell me what’s wrong,’ I urged people who read my work. Now, knowing that I know a lot more than I did then, but still realising I have a lot more to do, I’d love an agent to consider the words ‘I LOVE your book’ or better still ‘I’m sure I can sell this!’

I struggle daily with the idea that every word must be considered and should count. Some days I lose the battle with my inner critic and become a lazy writer. I don’t care if I’m telling. To hell with the effort of showing. I want to TELL, okay? Sometimes it’s just easier to write :

‘What do you mean?’ she scoffed nervously. RATHER THAN
Her heart rattled behind her rib cage. ‘What do you mean?’ she said biting her thumb nail.

See for me, if I’m honest, the first example is easy. Words like this fall like Niagara from my fingertips. The second example, though it doesn’t perhaps flow as easily, does in my mind both look and sound better. It requires writing and re-writing. And three years ago, I wouldn’t have noticed the difference.

So today, after my third anniversary of writing ‘seriously’ has passed, I’ve decided that this apprenticeship is in fact a five year one. It's also time to diversify slightly and linking to Sam's post of yesterday, maybe try working on something other than a novel? After all good writing is good writing and should cross genres with some tweaking? (I can hear all the short story experts out there shouting at their screens 'No!' They're saying, 'That's another apprenticeship altogether!')

Maybe so, but by the time the next couple of years pass, I hope to have lured an agent/publisher into pointing a finger and saying ‘I WANT YOU!’ I'm hoping that the skills I'm gathering will make that possible. Perhaps not, but I do know one thing. I love this writing lark enough to tell myself if it hasn’t happened by then, that this is in fact a six year journey, or a lifelong one if necessary.

And if I have to resort to a further course on Jedi mind tricks? I'll find one.