Showing posts with label responding to bad reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label responding to bad reviews. Show all posts

A writer's greatest asset? A thick skin

One thing writers get used to quickly is rejection. With the exception of the extremely lucky or the extremely well-connected, any writer’s path is strewn with rejection letters: from agents, from publishers, from magazines…  We’ve all had them, ranging from a ‘we haven’t even read this’ form dismissal to a detailed critique of everything that is wrong with what you’ve written. We console ourselves that it happens to the best of them: JK Rowling was told she’d never make a living from writing. Lord of the Flies was rejected 100 times. I know personally of one (now pretty well-established) novelist whose first book was rejected by one agency, then accepted a month later by another, by the same woman, who had moved agencies in the interim. If that doesn’t prove how arbitrary success can be, what does? But one thing that many aspiring writers don’t realise is, this doesn’t stop when you get published. In fact, if anything, these days it just gets worse.

Anyone who produces any sort of art for public consumption has to accept that they will come under scrutiny, and that not everyone will like what they do. I write for a theatre review website, and while I – and my fellow reviewers – always try to be fair, there are a decent number of scathing opinions on the site, because we all feel it’s our duty as reviewers to speak up at what we see as poor acting, sloppy writing or ill-conceived or badly executed productions. We're there for the viewers, not the makers, and besides, it’s constructive, isn't it? Yet it never feels like that when you’re on the receiving end of it.
As someone who has been writing – and having things published – on and off for the best part of 20 years, I’ve certainly had my fair share of criticism. My first novel was about a sexually transgressive affair: dark, yes, but not – I thought – without humour. Still didn’t stop one reviewer commenting that they wondered how I’d managed to write it without causing myself lasting psychological damage, or someone on Amazon dismissing it as ‘tediously trying to shock’. (Not to mention the agent who said “I really like it – can you make it 50,000 words longer?” Um, no.)
And of course now, with the internet, everyone is a critic: and not everyone takes it well. Plenty of book bloggers report tales of furious authors taking public umbrage at bad reviews (many won’t even review self-published books, arguing that this kind of behaviour is more prevalent amongst non-professional authors). Read any article on any reasonably popular website and the comments section will make you cringe: there’s a reason they say 'never read the bottom half of the internet'. The freedom of online posting also means that people can type things they wouldn’t dream of saying in person and, I hate to say it, but if you’re a woman it’s likely to be worse, because not only are you stupid/wrong/a bad writer, you’re probably fat and ugly as well. (Only last week, I had someone post a comment on an article I wrote for a sci-fi website saying they wanted to ‘smash my ovaries’, which seems a bit of an over-reaction to me questioning the validity of Hollywood making any more Iron Man movies.)
So what to do about it? The answer, as ever, is pretty much nothing. Listen to the constructive feedback: use it where you can, have the courage to ignore it if it really goes against what you believe. For everything else: unless it’s actually threatening (in which case, it’s illegal – tell the police), take it as a good sign. No writer’s appeal is universal: for everyone who loves Ian McEwan, or Stephenie Meyer, or whoever else you care to name, there will be plenty of people who can’t stand their work. Did I mention Lord of the Flies got rejected 100 times?

Online Book Promotion for Idiots

Today, I am cheating. I've been ill for two weeks with swine flu. (Actually, it's sinusitis, but I'm a writer, I'm allowed to be melodramatic.) It has killed my last remaining brain cell and I am not up to writing a proper article. So, bearing in mind only five people ever read my own blog, I'm taking a gamble on you not noticing the fact that I have rehashed this post from something I wrote last year:

With fewer publisher pounds going into publicity these days, authors are increasingly expected to do the bulk of their own book promotion. Fortunately for us, the web provides a wealth of free opportunities. Unfortunately for everyone else, some authors don't realise what will do more harm than good. Here are the instructions for becoming one of those authors...

1. Join every book-related forum you can find – the members are waiting with bated breath to hear about your opus. Don't read the forum first, or introduce yourself – there’s no time for that in the fast-paced online world. Your first (and only) post should be:

You all should read The Undertaker by Doug Graves, ISBN 978-14M4N1D10T. This hilarious comic fictional novel has been described as Terry Pratchett meets The Da Vinci Code!!! Buy it now!!!

If it's a forum for writers rather than readers, add:

Yes, it happened to me!! I'm living proof that you should never give up! Be inspired, because even you miserable wannabes might one day manage to get published like ME!!

Then move on to the next site and wait for your Amazon ranking to shoot into the top 10.

2. Just think of all those stupid agents who rejected you. There's nothing that will humble them so much as a mass email with your ISBN and a huge attachment of the cover image. Ha! The joke’s on them now. They'll realise that they made the worst mistake of their life and will buy your book to serve as a constant reminder of their own fallibility.

3. Did some ignorant Amazon reviewer only give your book three stars? Don’t worry – you can turn this to your advantage. Use the comments facility to say:

Wow, did I upset you in a former life, you moron? This is not *supposed* to be great literature – are you too stupid to see that? Well, obviously you ARE, because there's a typo in the third line of your “review.” I know where you live, so if you keep telling people you only found my book “fairly amusing,” you’d better watch out, OK? And I'm getting all my friends to mark your review as unhelpful. So there.

The reviewer will be so scared he’ll give your next book five stars, and everyone else will be so in awe of your feistiness that they’ll place an order straight away. Result!

4. Put a SIGNED FIRST EDITION!!!!! on eBay. The key to success is to have at least ten identical auctions running simultaneously – you wouldn’t want anyone to miss out now, would you?

5. This is the most important one: plug your book in the comments section of blogs. DON'T just stick to relevant blogs, either – you never know who might be interested:

This sounds like a fun lake to go carp fishing – if you're sad enough to like that sort of thing LOL! By the way, if you’re interested, my latest novel “The Hound of the D’Urbervilles,” ISBN 978-5UPER1D10T, is a pacey thriller featuring Tess as a jaded detective and Angel Clare as her bumbling sidekick. It’s available from Amazon for only £17.99. Happy angling or whatever you call it!


Good luck! You'll need it.







Most of this post originally appeared on Writing and all that.
Oh yeah, and... you all should buy my book!!! Visit http://www.carolinerance.co.uk/ to find out how!!!