For those of you who are afflicted by this debilitating condition, don’t despair – it’s actually quite common amongst and almost exclusive to the male and female writing fraternity.
The good news? Pre Submission Mania, along with another condition common in writers, Whine Flu, do have temporary remedial alternatives to finding an agent and a publishing deal. Although to be fair, it is only either or both of these options that have been proven to provide an actual cure... There are encouraging alternatives available which provide immense symptom relief during the manic fear phase of PSM. The trick? To encourage the writer to think of anything else other than actually submitting their manuscript. I personally have self medicated during the height of acute symptoms by:
- Taking a long evening walk, followed by Sky plus recordings of Judge Judy accompanied by alcohol.
- Facebook stalking, not scary stalking, just watching what others are up to.
- Positive mantras e.g. ‘Marion Keyes, Who IS she? Marion Keyes, Who Is she? repeated in the mirror.
- Lines. You know the punishing school type ones? My favourite is, “I must not whinge, ‘But I want to be PUBLISHED’ to my husband anymore.” This particular one does only provide relief to Whine Flu symptoms and I’ve found it’s a lot quicker to type it out, rather than write it longhand?
- Ebay (It’s amazing what people sell) Write words and other writerly sites.
- Buying the envelopes and folders for the submissions, then staring at them with my hands over my ears singing, ‘La, La, La, La…..La, La, La, La’
- Googling Johnny Depp to see if he’s still married to that French woman.
- Burying my copy of The Writers and Artists Yearbook in the garden whilst eating maltesers.
- Washing, ironing, cleaning, recycling. You get the gist.