Well, did you?
Sorry. You’ve caught me on a bad day. I feel like picking a fight.
The picture I present to the world is of a fairly mild mannered mother of two, but at the moment I am a seething mass of irritation. I am a veritable cauldron of misanthropy. The man in a van [isn't it always] who cut me up at the roundabout earlier? The stroppy teenage shop assistant who ignored me because she was too busy texting? The dog owner who failed to pick up after his mutt?
Toast, all of them. At least in my mind.
The reason for all this bile is that I’m what you might call between projects. If I was an actor I could say I was resting. Basically, I have no writing work in progress. And because of this, I am B-O-R-E-D.
OK, I know it sounds a bit pathetic. It's not like I never moan when I AM writing something. I just miss having a story to think about when I’m in the shower, or driving the car or washing the dishes. No offence to the wonderful people in my life. It's just more fun having the made- up ones too.
You’re probably going to say, 'Write something then'. And it’s great advice, which I've always taken in the past. The trouble is that I’m at a bit of crossroads with my genre right now. I'm currently in the process [the brutal, hideous process] of submitting my second attempt at a children's book. I've had the usual highs and lows [and then more lows] and am still a long way from the end, but it’s hard to think about another story at the moment. I need a bit of hard evidence that I'm any cop at this genre. Don’t fancy writing adult stuff [anything longer than 40,000 words? shudder] and I’m hopeless at short stories.
The other thing you're probably thinking [especially if you are at that hard midway point of your own WIP and it's like pulling teeth] is that I should enjoy the break. ‘Go to some exhibitions!’ you might say, or 'Take a bit of time to recharge your batteries!’ And I know that’s brilliant advice too, honestly I do.
I just don’t feel like it. I prefer to do those things when I have a story simmering on the back burner as well.
I know that some time soon I’m going to open a file and just write something, ANYTHING, in order to restore my usual optimism in life.
But in the meantime I’m just off to find a small guy to hit.